Smiling through the darkness

Ever since I was young, I've smiled.  I smile when I walk down the street, I smile when I enter a room, I smile when I don't even know I'm smiling.  People often notice and ask what I do that keeps me smiling.  It's honestly just the way my face lands.  I am generally optimistic, kind to others and supportive.  Life is pretty good…

And sometimes it isn't.

Sometimes, a dark cloud follows me and I feel like I am trapped in a pit of darkness.  And guess what?  I'm probably still smiling.  

I've had small bouts of depression.  Nothing that has been debilitating or has been diagnosed as clinical depression but certainly a major case of the blues--

especially after having my daughter.  

My blue spells seem to be hormonally related but they aren't always. They can be triggered by situations or events.  

Depression is one of those conditions that can hide.  

Those who suffer from it can sometimes disappear in a crowd, become a recluse or mask depression by self medicating or by invoking some really skillful acting, as if all is well.  

Depression can be lonely… and this is part of the problem.

There is an unfortunate stigma of weakness associated with depression.  Those dealing with it may feel reluctant to share how they really feel for fear of judgement.  

Some individuals have lost their connection with self and feel it is a new normal to feel down and sad-- it's life anyway and it's not always easy, right? Though aren't we supposed to enjoy our days on this lovely planet?  

For some the thought of joy and happiness can seem so out of reach, like it's easier to just survive.  

It's important to remember that there is help and there are solutions.  

It just may require a moment to pause, to be gentle with self and acknowledge that help is needed.  It's okay to be vulnerable and it's okay that it's hard and it's okay to cry and it's okay to ask for support. 

The feminine energy of receptivity has been lost on those who feel they always need to do and perform.   Yes, some do need to make it happen but life is about the balance of doing and resting, speaking and listening, giving and receiving, fighting the battle and healing.  

What I found was that I needed to be honest with myself about myself.  

I needed to acknowledge that something was off and take steps to make the necessary changes.  

Everyone's path is different.  Seeking professional guidance is a huge step.  There is even more that can be done in tandem.  For me it was essential to engage in regular counseling/coaching, make sure to get enough Vitamin D, essential fats (omega 3's), eat whole-some regular meals, meditate, pray and use pure essential oils (Joy in particular).

Maintaining balance is a daily commitment but I have to put myself at the top of my priority list.  

The biggest lesson that I learned, is that I am worth it (and I know you are, too).

Thank you for reading my post.  


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