Why those with sexually transmitted infections face love challenges


There's a common theme I see in my practice with women who have contracted Herpes, HPV or other STI's (sexually transmitted infections):

challenges with vulnerability and trust in romantic relationships.  

This is a topic I've wanted to blog about for a while now because I see it so often in women I know.

First, I think it's important to validate the shock a woman experiences when she realizes that she has an incurrable disease.  Nevertheless, I see some women experience the same embarassment and shame with even a yeast infection.  Really, any dis-ease/disorder that affects the reproductive system can be traumatic.  


Here are a few concerns women may have:

1) "OMG, am I gonna be okay?"

2) "This is so uncomfortable and inconvenient, will I ever be free to enjoy my sexuality again-- I feel tarnished?"

3) "I hate the bastard that gave this to me.  How can I trust again?"

If someone does feel this way, how would they feel comfortable being vulnerable?  

Any of the above statements are enough to throw up a wall so high it would take a mountain climber to get to the other side and a wrecking crew to tear it down.

I don't think enough emphasis is placed on healing from a mind-body-spirit perspective where this issue is concerned.  

The quick, logical answers to the above questions are 1) Yes, you will be okay; 2) Yes, you will feel okay again and you are not tarnished; 3) It may take time but you will trust again.

However, emotions need some time to catch up to logic.

Here are some ideas to explore to get started on your healing journey:

1) Knowledge is power.  Research statastics on incidents of contracting an infection or disease.  Know you are not alone!

2) Reflect on whether or not your spirit really wanted to be in the situation or relationship with the person of whom you contracted the infection.  Was it past time to get out?  Is it sometimes hard to let go?  How has this changed how you interact in relationships, presently?

3) If there was trauma involved in contracting an STI, are you still carrying guilt?  Are you seeking counseling?

4) Work on self worth, self acceptance and self esteem.  You are still beautiful and worthy of love.  When the RIGHT person comes along it will be easier to let down your guard and share the appropriate information with them. 

5) Seek professional counseling to further work through emotional wounds.

6) Keep your body balanced, healthy and strong with acupuncture, essential oils, nutrition, meditation and exercise. 

7) Create an affirmation that reminds you that you will again feel safe to let down your walls and love with abandon.

I do hope this has been helpful for you.....


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